Overbearing mother is the one who strictly behaves or pressurizes their children. She forces the children to practice her rules and act on them. She regularly criticizes her children, and she didn’t satisfy with her children’s work or acts or anything her children do.
She De-motivate her children. She demands blind obedience from her children. She didn’t allow her children to participate in or question her decisions and does not courage her children. Her work is to discourage them. The over-bearing mother may also term as “Helicopter mother,” which means the mothers who are overprotective or over-interested in their child’s life.
Impact of Overbearing mother on Children
The overbearing mother exerts negative pressure on children. They didn’t want their children to grow independently. The child with an overbearing mother would lack friendships. An overbearing mother wants to select friends or mates for her child.
She will allow her child to make friends of her choice who her mother likes. The mother with such a child would not be able to make decisions independently of his/her will. The child would be fearful in making decisions or confronting them.
Such a mother would expect perfectionism of her type, which type of perfectionism she wants. If her child didn’t come up to her expectations, she would criticize her as a cause of failure for her child. A child with such a mother would feel insecure and will not participate in competitions of life.
Such a child may lie about the failures he gets, and he may blame others for his failure in fear of being torture by her mother. The child with such a mother would be a patient of anxiety or anxiety disorders, or a child would not be able of leadership in any aspect of his/her life.
In contrast to a child who is not affected by such mothers would enjoy leadership, would be able to make decisions of leadership, and also be brave to confront anyone in every aspect of his/her life.
How to with-stand an overbearing mother?
There are some methods through which an overbearing mother can be endured.
By communication, you can go ahead with your fears with your mother. Although the only contact will not be a set of resolving issues to a certain extent, you can somehow resolve some of your worries with your mother. While communicating with your mother, take care of confronting her respectfully and following the rules she has set up for you to put up your ideas and problems you face openly. So, she will also understand you and give you solutions to your questions and fears.
- Identify your mother’s happiness
In the second step, you should note your mother’s weak point. It means your mother’s happiness by which matter or habit she loves you or when she becomes happy and doesn’t apply strict rules. Therefore, it’s a significant thing that you should note about your mother and make your path easy for your willingness to be accepted by your mother.
- Accept responsibility She puts on you
The third thing you should do is to accept the responsibilities which she poses to you. Try it hard to complete the task which she gives you. Then she will be happy with you and then she will accept your sayings. She can then also be in control of you as you take responsibility for her. She will think about your obedience and responsibility-orientation.
- Accept that you can’t change your mother’s innate behaviors
The fourth thing you should understand is that there are certain things or habits you would not change about your mother as they are inborn habits. By accepting that, you can quickly go ahead of your life and easily set your life regularities. As you can’t force anyone in the same way, you can’t drag your mother to change her innate behaviors. Your effort can alter your mother’s flexible behaviors, and you should effort on that.
- Distance yourself physically from your mother
The next thing you should do or focus on it should distance yourself physically from your mother as you are available every time in front of your mother so she would distract you. So that as you get distance, your mother should feel the importance of you and would be able to handle the significance of yours. As you go distant from your mother, you will be less exposed to your mother’s rude behavior and would be able to enjoy your company.
- Try to hold your expenses on yourself
The other thing that makes your mother lash at you the reason she carries your expenses or finances. If you bring your costs or finance, you will control your mother’s lashing on you. You would be able to manage your mothers overbearing. It will not be easy for you to hold your expenses own but try hard it is possible.
- Confront your mother respectfully
The other thing you should focus on is to give respect to your mother so that she would be able to forgive you and your mistakes. You should even respectfully present your mistakes and say sorry for your mistakes. Your mother will feel ashamed of your mistake and ready to improve, then she would respect you in return.
- Set boundaries between you and your mother
The next thing you should focus on is setting up boundaries between you and your mother. It will make things better between you and your mother. It will be a great thing.
- Get help from therapist or psychologists
If your mother’s behavior is striking you off, you should visit a psychologist or therapist. There will be proper counseling. They will help you overcome this type of criticism and be able to deal with your mother.
In the last, there should be a strong balancing bond between a mother and her child. The children are a boon of god. So not to criticize their doings; instead, the mother should understand which difficulties her child is passing. She should investigate the problems and challenges or fears which her child faces. She should counsel with her. The children always understand with love and care, not by criticism. Criticism makes children stubborn and disobedient.